Let Your Love Grow Tall

I keep wanting to write a reflection about how my this semester means to me, but the words aren't coming out. I want to write about how it's been a wonderful three months where I've pushed my limits and realized how limits can be illusory--people are capable of so much more than the think they are.

Words aren't coming out though. I've felt a little zombie-ish lately.

But it'll come to me because good times don't die. Hopefully I'll be well motivated to prepare for finals soon. It's biochem, psychology, philosophy, then biology. It's an oddly ironic order, really. I'm super glad to be done with biochem. Neutral about psychology. But philosophy and biology... I can't believe they're going to be over. I just can't accept it. I've had such wonderful times. *sigh* If only I had the right words to really say how grateful I am for the past three months.

So how about I talk about something else that's been on my mind since a few days ago.

Where is the balance between emotional independence and dependence? I feel like love and trust involves the realization that you need that someone else; love involves trusting someone with your heart. In a way, having independence is like wearing an armor and holding a weapon to battle whatever comes to hurt you. But love means putting that weapon down and taking the armor off, and letting yourself become vulnerable to someone else. You can't put just a little part of your heart into it and call it love. It doesn't mean much if you're not willing to pour your whole heart into it.

Is it worth the risk? I mean, why let yourself become vulnerable, right? ...but how many opportunities have we let slipped because we're scared of getting hurt or scared of the consequences?

Where's that balance? Or do we keep juggling and moving along the rope, since the show goes on as long as the balls don't drop and we don't fall.

I have to admit I've forgotten how it's like to just be completely in love with someone (whatever the definition of love may be), and it's mostly because I've become a stronger and more emotionally independent person. But at the same time, there's been someone (right from the beginning of the semester, really) that's been making me question all of this more and more.

"Let Your Love Grow Tall" by Passion Pit

In pastures blue and green
I'll follow you and you'll follow me
My fabric's mystery
I'll wave your loyalty in the freezing breeze so desperately

And another one comes down
And another one comes down
And another one comes down

I think I see my life
He bows all slyly and gentle-like
He's never had the right
But I've never lived without his sad and jealous eyes

And another one comes down
another one comes down
another one comes down

They say "Let your love grow tall"
"Let your love grow tall"
Tall as the grass in the meadow?
Or the dunes on the shore?
Like the buildings in the city?
And your children on the floor?

But it's the thought that counts
No, quiet minds don't know their worth
They know now what to do
So I'll pray for them
And I'll pray for you till my face turns blue

And another ones comes down
And another one comes down
And another one comes down

They say "Let your love grow tall"
"Let your love grow tall"
Tall as the grass in the meadow?
Or the dunes on the shore?
Like the buildings in the city?
And your children on the floor?
Like the darkness in the forest?
Like my frightened worried eyes?
Or the roots in the soil?
Are these skies telling lies?