One of my favorite songs by Nada Surf: "Do It Again"
Well I'd snap to attention
If I thought that you knew the way
I'd open my mouth
If I had something smart to say
I bought a stack of books
I didn't read a thing
It's like I'm sitting here
Waiting for birds to sing
Let's do it again
Come on, let's do it again
Please, let's do it again
The hum of the clock
Is a faraway place
The azalea air holding your face
You're lying down
And the moon is sideways
From the hot to the cold
It never gets old
I spend all my energy
Walking upright
And I like the masking noise quiet
Of your breathing nearby
Let's do it again
Come on, let's do it again
Please, let's do it again
I want you lazy science
I want some peace
Are you the future?
Show me the keys
I spend all my energy
Walking upright
And I like the masking noise quiet
Of your breathing nearby
When I accelerate
I remember why it's good to be alive
Like a twenty-five cent game
Maybe this weight was a gift
Like I had to see what I could lift
I spend all my energy
Walking upright
Maybe this weight was a gift
Like I had to see what I could lift
I spend all my energy
Walking upright
Maybe this weight was a gift
Like I had to see what I could lift
I think their "The Weight Is A Gift" album is simply excellent.
Anyway, I wanted to write this post about something else. It's past midnight and I have to wake up at 6 am tomorrow, so I'll make it quick (then elaborate tomorrow).
...
What I want to say is that I love biology so much. The history of it, the philosophy of it, and of course, the science itself. This past Monday I remember working from 8-12, going to the bookstore to buy a clicker for my genetics class and then have a quick lunch (while helping Dan Perry with some biology stuff), going to genetics, going to BioSci right away to work on Biol 2004 stuff with my group, rushing to the Biol 2004 at the friggin' physics building while being completely exhausted, and thinking how much I love my life because I'm studying biology. I was so overwhelmed by the idea of everything this semester, and I'm still overwhelmed, so I might be a little insane for being so happy about how much of a better biologist I will become after all the experience of this semester, which has just begun. While trying to listen to the lecture (it was mostly intro stuff), I thought about how all I want to do is put all my effort into becoming a better biologist.
It's a pain, obviously. Being stressed out by intense workload is always a pain. But maybe it's worth it. As Nada Surf's song goes, "Maybe this weight was a gift, like I had to see what I could lift."
I'm getting used to the semester. I mean, I'm adapting to making the most of my free time. I'm liking my Biol 2003 group a lot because everyone is dedicated to the group--at least three of the people are doing a great job taking on the leader roles, and everyone else (I guess including me) is doing the work and everything. I really appreciate that. I think all our projects are going to turn out amazing.
But I still can't help being completely nostalgic about last semester's group all over again. I miss that we were almost like a family. I miss learning everything with my group. See, I'm not completely clueless anymore. I was, at the beginning of last semester. As a future biologist, I learned so much about biology last semester, not necessarily the content but the significance, the history, the philosophy, the methodology, everything--everything that makes me love it so much.
I still can't formulate into sentences why I've come to love biology so much, but I will very soon, as I've got a personal statement to write for a scholarship application.
One of the reasons I decided to take Philosophy of Quantum Mechanics is that early in the twentieth century, physics was an inspiration to many people to turn to biology. See, physics has always been such an ideal science. Biology wasn't, not until the discovery of DNA. Haha, my philosophy term paper last year was totally 70% on the history of genetics. I like history partly because it reads like a story, and I have to say the history of biology is quite a beautiful one.
I guess the another reason (that I'm taking Phil. of QM) would be that it gives me insights on how the sciences are different--how I can never love physics like I love biology.
And I do appreciate the philosophical/intellectual value of QM too, of course. Jeez, it's really difficult to understand. I still don't really know what the heck quantum mechanics is, even though I've read and heard about the same things so many times in my life.
Anyway, I'll write more on this when I have the time. Right now it's sleep time. Good night.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Truth Begins
Today turned out to be good. I worked in the prep room from 8-11:15, and apart from being harmlessly stupid from time to time, it went well. Melissa is so nice and doesn't make me feel stupid at all.
Because I had to skip genetics, I had a little more free time. During that time, I did some research for my group's Biol 2003 project. I'm glad it's actually (possibly) neuroscience-related this time. Biol 2004, on the other hand, seem like it would be annoying, but I handled pretty much everything I could do for now--quiz and homework.
Note: Being obsessed with yeasts doesn't make you cute, FYI. Ugh. And we haven't even started.
Anyway, I had a good time researching. I love biology. To be completely honest, my last semester might have spoiled me too much because pretty much all of the classes revolve around biology, and not the memorizing a bunch of facts aspect of biology; it was more about the philosophy of biology, what makes it so fascinating as a science, how to think like a biologist, and the world of research.
This semester, I have to deal with the philosophy of quantum mechanics, and really, I am not a big fan of physics. It's cool and all. It's the "ideal science" according to the common view in the philosophy of science. But after learning about how amazing biology is and after having gone through evil physics classes, not to mention tutoring people and watching them deal with the evil of physics, I feel like appreciating physics will be a challenge. But if I can come to do that, it would be a true accomplishment.
It's just so intimidating to be sitting in a 5xxx level philosophy class when different groups of intimidating people are in the class. These groups are as follows (some overlap): physics majors, graduate students, definitely-older people, and people that like to use big words.
Biology feels so homely and lovable, whereas physics come off as cold and intimidating... like it can kill you with a smug look on its face. Or something.
So anyway, at 2 I was at the MAC for the tutor training session. I was honestly so happy to be there because I was reminded about how much tutoring meant to me. First, working in the prep room was basically me being completely confused and needing to be guided by Melissa. As a tutor, I was a leader, not a follower. Same goes for Y-Scholars. Even when I worked at the bookstore, I was the one that knew how to do things and report problems properly to manager (without panicking).
Last semester was so much discovering how amazing biology is and how much of a leader I can be.
This semester involves utter confusion and trying to appreciate physics.
Philosophy of science is so difficult when you don't know the science that well. However, I've been thinking about how studying this history and philosophy of science is something that interests me a lot. It's hard to explain what I really love about science, but I know that it's not really the actual doing of science itself. I feel like my life wouldn't feel complete if all I end up being is a scientist (though I don't doubt that many professional scientists out there do appreciate science at a deeper level than we may think). I love science in the humanistic sense. I think it's a great project that humanity has worked on from the beginning of the history of our species. And we've accomplished so much intellectually. I like looking at the evolution of the conception of scientific thought itself. I mean, it affects a person's view on the world so much. It makes a difference to think that Earth is just a tiny speckle in the vast universe rather than literally being in the middle of the universe. It affects people so deeply in how they view what life is about.
Rather than just reading textbooks and research papers, try reading something more personal from a scientist. The story of the discovery of DNA was one about biologists inspired by the hope that principles of physics would be able to explain the essence of life.
Arkldja;fkjhdaskfhdaslf. I'm sleepy and is so inclined toward just ending this post right here.
I guess I'll continue with this topic some other time (in a new post).
For all the friends you've ever met
Some you'll love and some forget
Just hold on for tomorrow
- from "Truth Begins" by Dirty Pretty Things (awesome song, btw)
Because I had to skip genetics, I had a little more free time. During that time, I did some research for my group's Biol 2003 project. I'm glad it's actually (possibly) neuroscience-related this time. Biol 2004, on the other hand, seem like it would be annoying, but I handled pretty much everything I could do for now--quiz and homework.
Note: Being obsessed with yeasts doesn't make you cute, FYI. Ugh. And we haven't even started.
Anyway, I had a good time researching. I love biology. To be completely honest, my last semester might have spoiled me too much because pretty much all of the classes revolve around biology, and not the memorizing a bunch of facts aspect of biology; it was more about the philosophy of biology, what makes it so fascinating as a science, how to think like a biologist, and the world of research.
This semester, I have to deal with the philosophy of quantum mechanics, and really, I am not a big fan of physics. It's cool and all. It's the "ideal science" according to the common view in the philosophy of science. But after learning about how amazing biology is and after having gone through evil physics classes, not to mention tutoring people and watching them deal with the evil of physics, I feel like appreciating physics will be a challenge. But if I can come to do that, it would be a true accomplishment.
It's just so intimidating to be sitting in a 5xxx level philosophy class when different groups of intimidating people are in the class. These groups are as follows (some overlap): physics majors, graduate students, definitely-older people, and people that like to use big words.
Biology feels so homely and lovable, whereas physics come off as cold and intimidating... like it can kill you with a smug look on its face. Or something.
So anyway, at 2 I was at the MAC for the tutor training session. I was honestly so happy to be there because I was reminded about how much tutoring meant to me. First, working in the prep room was basically me being completely confused and needing to be guided by Melissa. As a tutor, I was a leader, not a follower. Same goes for Y-Scholars. Even when I worked at the bookstore, I was the one that knew how to do things and report problems properly to manager (without panicking).
Last semester was so much discovering how amazing biology is and how much of a leader I can be.
This semester involves utter confusion and trying to appreciate physics.
Philosophy of science is so difficult when you don't know the science that well. However, I've been thinking about how studying this history and philosophy of science is something that interests me a lot. It's hard to explain what I really love about science, but I know that it's not really the actual doing of science itself. I feel like my life wouldn't feel complete if all I end up being is a scientist (though I don't doubt that many professional scientists out there do appreciate science at a deeper level than we may think). I love science in the humanistic sense. I think it's a great project that humanity has worked on from the beginning of the history of our species. And we've accomplished so much intellectually. I like looking at the evolution of the conception of scientific thought itself. I mean, it affects a person's view on the world so much. It makes a difference to think that Earth is just a tiny speckle in the vast universe rather than literally being in the middle of the universe. It affects people so deeply in how they view what life is about.
Rather than just reading textbooks and research papers, try reading something more personal from a scientist. The story of the discovery of DNA was one about biologists inspired by the hope that principles of physics would be able to explain the essence of life.
Arkldja;fkjhdaskfhdaslf. I'm sleepy and is so inclined toward just ending this post right here.
I guess I'll continue with this topic some other time (in a new post).
For all the friends you've ever met
Some you'll love and some forget
Just hold on for tomorrow
- from "Truth Begins" by Dirty Pretty Things (awesome song, btw)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I cannot say I'm loving this semester so far
Seriously.
Having to be at school at 8 almost every day just sucks. It sucks more when you barely have any empty-ish day. Actually, I don't have a single one of those. Too much class time + work time + lab time + volunteering time = fkhsda;fkjdsa;fkjdsa;fkjdsklafdsakjhfld.
I HATE IT.
Today I was going to print out some stuff before heading over to the tutor training session at the MAC, but the computer was being stupid so I only got to print out my stuff way later. Then I went to wait for the bus, and so many people walked out of nowhere and by the time the bus I needed came by, it was crowded and too many people got on it, and I was like, screw this, I'll walk even though I'm risking slipping and falling down with every step. I walked all the way across the mall area and then I realize the session would already start and I was so freaking tired and was not in the mood to be late to the training and sit through it for 1.5 hours. I was like, screw it, I'm going to grab food and go to tomorrow's training session instead. And miss part of my genetics class.
Oh, there was the biology textbook in my backpack. It was heavy. I was tired.
Every day has been tiring, and I barely had any time to do anything. All my reading-intensive classes are right after one another, and my biology TA is awful and my lab group seems awful and I'm just SO SO SO frustrated with life.
flkjd;afhjdsafhlsahfksadhf;skadhf;sadhfsdkajfsdlafj;sdakfasfdsaf;saklfjkk gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Okay, class and work taking up my time = acceptable. Stupid little things like crowded buses and dumb people = not acceptable.
I don't know how I'll deal with my tutoring job this semester because some of the students like to mess with my time so much, and I do NOT have the time to let them waste.
And to be honest, I'm not especially impressed with any of my classes.
Having to be at school at 8 almost every day just sucks. It sucks more when you barely have any empty-ish day. Actually, I don't have a single one of those. Too much class time + work time + lab time + volunteering time = fkhsda;fkjdsa;fkjdsa;fkjdsklafdsakjhfld.
I HATE IT.
Today I was going to print out some stuff before heading over to the tutor training session at the MAC, but the computer was being stupid so I only got to print out my stuff way later. Then I went to wait for the bus, and so many people walked out of nowhere and by the time the bus I needed came by, it was crowded and too many people got on it, and I was like, screw this, I'll walk even though I'm risking slipping and falling down with every step. I walked all the way across the mall area and then I realize the session would already start and I was so freaking tired and was not in the mood to be late to the training and sit through it for 1.5 hours. I was like, screw it, I'm going to grab food and go to tomorrow's training session instead. And miss part of my genetics class.
Oh, there was the biology textbook in my backpack. It was heavy. I was tired.
Every day has been tiring, and I barely had any time to do anything. All my reading-intensive classes are right after one another, and my biology TA is awful and my lab group seems awful and I'm just SO SO SO frustrated with life.
flkjd;afhjdsafhlsahfksadhf;skadhf;sadhfsdkajfsdlafj;sdakfasfdsaf;saklfjkk gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Okay, class and work taking up my time = acceptable. Stupid little things like crowded buses and dumb people = not acceptable.
I don't know how I'll deal with my tutoring job this semester because some of the students like to mess with my time so much, and I do NOT have the time to let them waste.
And to be honest, I'm not especially impressed with any of my classes.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Last day of winter break
First day of class. My schedule looks as follows:
8:30-10:25 - Biol 2003
11:15-12:30 - Philosophy of Psychology
12:45-2:00 - Philosophy of Quantum Mechanics
3:00-6:00 - work at the bookstore
6:30-8:00 - Y-Scholars seminar
I'm excited. I mean, double philosophy, hell yeah!
Okay, so I made the wrong decision of taking a nap in the afternoon, so now I'm both too excited to sleep and not sleepy anyway. Good luck waking up early for class tomorrow, me!
Watching the week's episode of One Tree Hill, maybe some more episodes of True Blood or The Matrix Revolutions. HOPING to get some sleep.
Happy first day of class!
8:30-10:25 - Biol 2003
11:15-12:30 - Philosophy of Psychology
12:45-2:00 - Philosophy of Quantum Mechanics
3:00-6:00 - work at the bookstore
6:30-8:00 - Y-Scholars seminar
I'm excited. I mean, double philosophy, hell yeah!
Okay, so I made the wrong decision of taking a nap in the afternoon, so now I'm both too excited to sleep and not sleepy anyway. Good luck waking up early for class tomorrow, me!
Watching the week's episode of One Tree Hill, maybe some more episodes of True Blood or The Matrix Revolutions. HOPING to get some sleep.
Happy first day of class!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The making of a new playlist
I used to base my post titles on song names for the most part, but now I guess I'm breaking away from that a little bit...
Anyway, I still can't get away from being nostalgic while listening to my Fall '09 playlist. I mean, playlists from previous semesters do the same as well, but not really, because there were times that contained feelings that were hurtful (as I've come to realize), but last fall was simply wonderful. I probably said this a million times already.
*sigh* The nostalgia has come to hurt a little.
I'll allow myself for this, but I will start listening to more new music (new meaning new to me) to encode the new semester. A Spring '10 playlist is in the making. I already know what is going on it (for now) -- Miike Snow's "Miike Snow" album, Mika's "The Boy Who Knew Too Much" album, Dirty Pretty Thing's "Romance At Short Notice" album...
It's a matter of listening to these music every day while riding the bus or studying.
Back to my Fall '09 list, I'll share what some of these songs has personally come to mean for me:
Rubik's "Richard Branson's Crash Landing" - This reminds me of the BIOL 2002 group, especially the day before Thanksgiving when we just finished our proposal--the song was stuck in my head while walking out of class, happy because it's finally Thanksgiving break and because we worked really hard and was really proud of our project.
Pretty much the rest of Rubik's "Dada Bandits" album reminds me of something in the semester as well.
Wakey!Wakey!'s "Brooklyn" - This reminds me of the week before the last week of school. I stayed up all night to finish my philosophy term paper and then watched One Tree Hill because SOMEHOW I decided I don't need to sleep. That was 5 am. By 8 am, I was about to crash so I decided to sleep for 3 hours before going to class. This song was featured in that week's episode of One Tree Hill. I listened to it a lot, especially on my bus ride home. My parents were gone that week so I tried a safer route home. It involved going downtown. Riding the bus from downtown is really fun because the city is so beautiful. This song reminds me of that. It also reminds me of how lonely it did feel when I was home alone.
U2's "Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of" - Wow, this was probably the song I turned to every time I didn't feel well emotionally. See, I was convinced that my life was happy, but there were those -moments- that I got stuck in, where I wasn't happy. I listened to the song on repeat, hoping it'd wash away those moments. Sometimes it worked.
Passion Pit's "Manners" album. One of the most amazing albums EVER. "Little Secrets" reminds me of Y-Scholars. "Make Light" reminds me of this one really special day. "To Kingdom Come" is just a really happy song that reflects my overall happiness.
Regina Spektor's "Far" album reminds me of the time when the weather was still nice and I'd walk into the St. Paul campus from Larpenteur Ave. to get to biology class.
Noisettes' "Wild Young Hearts" album reminds me of intense cramming for biochemistry. I think I had the album on repeat while studying in Wilson Library.
MGMT's "Time To Pretend" reminds me of the fall clean-up with Y-Scholars. The song was on in Megan's car just before we arrived at the very beautiful house where we had to rake leaves. The owners of the house were so sweet to us--they ordered pizza for us and talked to us. I still remember that one of them told us, "Thank you so much for what you do, not just for the clean-up work today but for your service to the community." It was a great day, and I really needed that. I was so stressed about being busy, but that day convinced me that Y-Scholars was worth it.
Dirty Pretty Thing's "Waterloo To Anywhere" album and Babyshambles' "Down In Albion" album remind me of philosophy. God I love philosophy. So much.
...well, there are more music, but I'm sleepy, haha.
Plus, the nostalgia is killing me.
Anyway, I still can't get away from being nostalgic while listening to my Fall '09 playlist. I mean, playlists from previous semesters do the same as well, but not really, because there were times that contained feelings that were hurtful (as I've come to realize), but last fall was simply wonderful. I probably said this a million times already.
*sigh* The nostalgia has come to hurt a little.
I'll allow myself for this, but I will start listening to more new music (new meaning new to me) to encode the new semester. A Spring '10 playlist is in the making. I already know what is going on it (for now) -- Miike Snow's "Miike Snow" album, Mika's "The Boy Who Knew Too Much" album, Dirty Pretty Thing's "Romance At Short Notice" album...
It's a matter of listening to these music every day while riding the bus or studying.
Back to my Fall '09 list, I'll share what some of these songs has personally come to mean for me:
Rubik's "Richard Branson's Crash Landing" - This reminds me of the BIOL 2002 group, especially the day before Thanksgiving when we just finished our proposal--the song was stuck in my head while walking out of class, happy because it's finally Thanksgiving break and because we worked really hard and was really proud of our project.
Pretty much the rest of Rubik's "Dada Bandits" album reminds me of something in the semester as well.
Wakey!Wakey!'s "Brooklyn" - This reminds me of the week before the last week of school. I stayed up all night to finish my philosophy term paper and then watched One Tree Hill because SOMEHOW I decided I don't need to sleep. That was 5 am. By 8 am, I was about to crash so I decided to sleep for 3 hours before going to class. This song was featured in that week's episode of One Tree Hill. I listened to it a lot, especially on my bus ride home. My parents were gone that week so I tried a safer route home. It involved going downtown. Riding the bus from downtown is really fun because the city is so beautiful. This song reminds me of that. It also reminds me of how lonely it did feel when I was home alone.
U2's "Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of" - Wow, this was probably the song I turned to every time I didn't feel well emotionally. See, I was convinced that my life was happy, but there were those -moments- that I got stuck in, where I wasn't happy. I listened to the song on repeat, hoping it'd wash away those moments. Sometimes it worked.
Passion Pit's "Manners" album. One of the most amazing albums EVER. "Little Secrets" reminds me of Y-Scholars. "Make Light" reminds me of this one really special day. "To Kingdom Come" is just a really happy song that reflects my overall happiness.
Regina Spektor's "Far" album reminds me of the time when the weather was still nice and I'd walk into the St. Paul campus from Larpenteur Ave. to get to biology class.
Noisettes' "Wild Young Hearts" album reminds me of intense cramming for biochemistry. I think I had the album on repeat while studying in Wilson Library.
MGMT's "Time To Pretend" reminds me of the fall clean-up with Y-Scholars. The song was on in Megan's car just before we arrived at the very beautiful house where we had to rake leaves. The owners of the house were so sweet to us--they ordered pizza for us and talked to us. I still remember that one of them told us, "Thank you so much for what you do, not just for the clean-up work today but for your service to the community." It was a great day, and I really needed that. I was so stressed about being busy, but that day convinced me that Y-Scholars was worth it.
Dirty Pretty Thing's "Waterloo To Anywhere" album and Babyshambles' "Down In Albion" album remind me of philosophy. God I love philosophy. So much.
...well, there are more music, but I'm sleepy, haha.
Plus, the nostalgia is killing me.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I miss the fall
Last fall semester, that is. :(
I have a playlist of songs that remind me of all those times, and listening to some of the songs take me back then emotionally.
This new semester will be something great. I just know it. I'm already liking my new job a lot. I know I have a great group of people that I work with. As Barb said, we're more like a group of friends working together, and I see that to be the case just from my second day there. I'm even getting more confident with simple things like pouring and pipetting.
But there was something beautiful about the fall that I miss so dearly. Symbolically, it was a great new beginning for me. I was just beginning to really discover how wonderful biology and philosophy are (well, I knew philosophy was really special since my intro class... but as I mentioned in an earlier post, right from the first day of Philosophy of the Biological Sciences, I remembered how much philosophy means to me and decided to do a double major). There's something amazing about that innocent time of discovery.
Now I feel like it's going to be mostly hard work.
But damn. Nothing takes me back so (almost) completely like those songs...
I have a playlist of songs that remind me of all those times, and listening to some of the songs take me back then emotionally.
This new semester will be something great. I just know it. I'm already liking my new job a lot. I know I have a great group of people that I work with. As Barb said, we're more like a group of friends working together, and I see that to be the case just from my second day there. I'm even getting more confident with simple things like pouring and pipetting.
But there was something beautiful about the fall that I miss so dearly. Symbolically, it was a great new beginning for me. I was just beginning to really discover how wonderful biology and philosophy are (well, I knew philosophy was really special since my intro class... but as I mentioned in an earlier post, right from the first day of Philosophy of the Biological Sciences, I remembered how much philosophy means to me and decided to do a double major). There's something amazing about that innocent time of discovery.
Now I feel like it's going to be mostly hard work.
But damn. Nothing takes me back so (almost) completely like those songs...
You
Ever get scared or worried about something silly? I've been able to relate to so many of Kate Voegele's songs that right now her new song "I Couldn't Save You" scares me... because I can imagine who "you" might be.
I don't ever want to give up on people, at least not anyone that is considered to be important to me right now (and probably for a while). It's the time in our lives when you really don't know how long you're going to be friends with someone. It's so easy for friendships to melt away. I mean, I understand, we're all busy with our own lives; I'm guilty of that, as everyone is. It seems like it'd be easy to believe that friends just come and go.
But I think that standing by someone and not giving up on them is one of the greatest thing you could do for someone. It's hard, because you don't want to cross the line and appear creepy or anything. And saying that you'll "always" be there for someone would even be a lie, because like I said, we all have our own lives to worry about and sometimes, you can't "always" be "there." There are things I wish I could do for certain people, but it's just not realistic. People don't always want to be saved by others. People just want to realize they can save themselves. I mean, I agree totally. I'm grateful when others help me, but it's something really meaningful when I'm able to fight away my own difficulties. Well, this gets complicated.
Ummmmmm... okay, so I stopped writing for a while and came back, and forgot what I was going to write. I'm sleepy. I woke up at 6 am today for work and now I'm super tired/sleepy.
I don't ever want to give up on people, at least not anyone that is considered to be important to me right now (and probably for a while). It's the time in our lives when you really don't know how long you're going to be friends with someone. It's so easy for friendships to melt away. I mean, I understand, we're all busy with our own lives; I'm guilty of that, as everyone is. It seems like it'd be easy to believe that friends just come and go.
But I think that standing by someone and not giving up on them is one of the greatest thing you could do for someone. It's hard, because you don't want to cross the line and appear creepy or anything. And saying that you'll "always" be there for someone would even be a lie, because like I said, we all have our own lives to worry about and sometimes, you can't "always" be "there." There are things I wish I could do for certain people, but it's just not realistic. People don't always want to be saved by others. People just want to realize they can save themselves. I mean, I agree totally. I'm grateful when others help me, but it's something really meaningful when I'm able to fight away my own difficulties. Well, this gets complicated.
Ummmmmm... okay, so I stopped writing for a while and came back, and forgot what I was going to write. I'm sleepy. I woke up at 6 am today for work and now I'm super tired/sleepy.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Ok
Umm... I am getting lazy with blogging, I realize that. Right now I'm so sleepy, but because my soon-to-be boss (I think that's what she is) said she's going to call around 8-10 am, I have to be awake.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Friday, January 1, 2010
New Day (New Year)
New Day by Tamar Kaprelian
click
Before the light I found the dark
Before tonight I feel apart
Frozen up I’ve realized that something’s gotta change
It took a crash to understand
Time kept slipping through my hands
I never used to know
The sun will shine after the rain
Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way
I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what
I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
A new day
I was sleeping in a twisted dream
Dying just to make believe
A pretty situation was far from where I was
But I’m not up for giving up
Lying down and out of luck
My mistakes are in the open and know I’m finally coming clean
Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way
I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what
I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
A new day
'Cause everything, everything
ends at the start
I’m healing and feeling all of my scars
Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way
I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what
I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
A new day
click
Before the light I found the dark
Before tonight I feel apart
Frozen up I’ve realized that something’s gotta change
It took a crash to understand
Time kept slipping through my hands
I never used to know
The sun will shine after the rain
Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way
I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what
I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
A new day
I was sleeping in a twisted dream
Dying just to make believe
A pretty situation was far from where I was
But I’m not up for giving up
Lying down and out of luck
My mistakes are in the open and know I’m finally coming clean
Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way
I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what
I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
A new day
'Cause everything, everything
ends at the start
I’m healing and feeling all of my scars
Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way
I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what
I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
A new day
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