Down River

Tomorrow is the last day of the semester. Today was the last day of philosophy (and psychology--I didn't go because it was just a Q&A session). I have a biochemistry exam tomorrow, which would mark the official end of the class. I looked over the material and it doesn't seem too hard, thanks to Biol 2002's heavy emphasis on DNA. So I'm not frantically studying or anything.

What am I doing instead? I'm thinking about how great the semester has been, listening to the music that has been with me all this time, and probably going to cry.

I don't know how to explain it. I don't know how much context I'd need to give. I don't know how much in my life I have to backtrack to, to fully explain how much the past three months mean to me. This is probably the millionth times I've tried to explain it, but it's still not coming out right.

One thing I'm sure about is that there are too many people I'll miss so dearly. I will admit that it breaks my heart that Team 2-12 will no longer be Team 2-12. It is with the team that I've learned what biology is through working on something that we initially thought was way beyond our abilities. I'll always remember and be inspired by this experience the way my ambitions in philosophy traces back to the fun times with Jenna and Stephen (and the others) last fall. I'll miss my philosophy class so much as well.

Last week during my last time volunteering at Sheridan this semester, I was watching the middle school soccer game and the kids cheering for their team, and I couldn't help but think how fun and wonderful school is--and the kids don't even realize it. I don't blame them; I didn't realize it as clearly when I was in middle school. But it is definitely so much fun. Even right now in college, I still think it's so much fun. I guess it's different in huge lectures, but in classes where you get to interact with amazing people, it's really something. This is why I try to avoid big lectures. I'm glad I have two small philosophy classes (as well as Biol 2003/2004) next semester. It's going to be amazing even if I'll be completely nostalgic about this semester for a long time. It's going to be amazing in its own way.

Great news is that our philosophy study group is reunited again to prepare for the final exam next Monday! This excites me so much. Study groups are so much fun with the right people.

I just don't want it to end!!! Arrggggh. I wish I could relive some of the greatest times of the semester: the time Team 2-12 were all online at once to discuss the project, the two other times we were actually there together to work on the poster and to prepare for the presentation, the crazily intimidating times at philosophy club, the philosophy study group, the seminars at the U-YMCA, the fall cleanup at the most beautiful house ever, ...as well as the ordinary everyday things like walking into the St. Paul campus when the weather was still nice, and some other stuff I forgot to mention (like the times I felt like going crazy because of the intense studying, not to mention going to sleep at 8 AM because of the philosophy term paper)

Come to think of it, maybe a big part of it was something that happened on the very first week of class. On the first day, I had psychology and philosophy. Psychology was just a lot of intro stuff, but philosophy was different. We played a game that helped us remember everybody's name. We also went around the room saying what our each of major was. I walked out of the class thinking about how fun philosophy is for me, and how much the fun has inspired me. Scott, who I just met that day, talked to me and asked me if I'm a neuroscience major (I was the only one in the class). I said, "Yeah... but I'm also thinking of double majoring in philosophy." The following class, I ran into him again while waiting for the bus back to the East Bank. I told him I've decided to double major in philosophy--I started introducing myself as a "neuroscience and philosophy double major" to people from that day on. We had lunch and talked about a bunch of stuff. A great friendship has formed right there, but it got a little complicated because of some issue. Things have been better though, and we've gotten closer especially since last week.

I'm not religious, but I pray to God he doesn't ever see this, by the way. I'm so sarcastic and I give him a hard time almost all the time. It's embarrassing, but I'm sure many people (including Team 2-12) know that I'm not mean-spirited in any way (and based on pretty much everything, I'm sure they know).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm thankful for the wonderful friendships made this semester. I wish I've gotten to see "old friends" more often, but life gets in the way, and the very reason I'll have to say goodbye to "new friends" is again, life.

Life is bittersweet.

So I discovered The Temper Trap the other day, and I thought "Down River" is an amazing song. Listen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2DluY5xnPo

Down River by The Temper Trap

Finally we have seen some things
Some awfully nice
Some dreadfully bad
But we will sing
Wash the blood off our knees
'Cause our love breaks through rough seas
Our ship will sail
And I don't understand how this world would work
'Cause time will tell us nothing
I'll take a chance on something

Feeling old, feelings this time take you
Down river, down river, down river, down
Walk these stairs, put the pieces back together
Go, don't stop, go, don't stop,
Go, don't stop now, go

Finally, we have seen some things
But bells in your hallways
Don't move you in the right place
So we will sing, cast our hopes out to sea
Through our hearts break,
Through violent winds our ship will sail
And I don't understand how this world would work
'Cause time will tell us nothing
I'll take a chance on something

Feeling old, feelings this time take you
Down, river, down river, down river, down
Walk these stairs, put the pieces back together
Go, don't stop, go, don't stop, go, don't stop
Go, don't stop now, go...